Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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