I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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