Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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