i think my mom watched the whole time
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is Oprah even human
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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