I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im holly from the hills drunk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
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Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
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