Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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