I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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