I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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