When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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