And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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