those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
false alarm. still invincible.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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