he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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