I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize