girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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