sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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