btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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