I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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