Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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