you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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