Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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