you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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