We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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