You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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