so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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