Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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