Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Pooping to opera.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize