At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize