I'm drive I can fine osifer
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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