Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
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he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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