my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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