Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize