sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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