I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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