omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize