If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize