my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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