I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize