I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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