I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize