whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize