i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize