she looked like the bat from fern gully.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize