If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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