Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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