If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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