Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize