I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize