it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize