ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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