I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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